Not Just In My Head

I am currently waiting for a referral to be seen by the Neurology team in Leicester. After I had my brain tumour removed in November 2010 a small lump formed on my head after my craniotomy. Over the years the small pea size lump has given me a fair bit of pain, to the point where I haven’t been able to lean on one side of my head for fear of aggravating it. Sometimes it would weep fluid and become enlarged, which I put down to putting too much pressure on it when I slept.

I expressed my concerns to my Oncologist about a year after my operation and was then sent for an ultrasound on the area. I was mortified when the Sonographer suggested I lift up my t-shirt in order to begin the ultrasound. I guess he assumed I was pregnant, so told him that no, I wasn’t and I was there because of a small but very painful lump on my head post tumour removal. Luckily, he was apologetic and nothing sinister showed up on the scan. I let it go and decided I just had to deal with it and accept it was just an irritating reminder of an awful time but a small price to pay for life saving surgery.

Over the years I’ve mentioned the lump numerous times to friends and family, not quite sure why it still caused me pain so long after my operation. It turns out that I had a reason to moan after all!

I noticed recently that the lump on my head has appeared to have disspeared. At first I thought this was great news, however realised there was a scab forming in its place. I tried to pick it off but it didn’t work, and when I asked my mum to take a look she commented it liked like metal coming out of my head, perhaps a staple of some sort protruding from the area where the lump had been.

I contacted my Oncology team, baffled as to how and why this could happen. Perhaps the lump was some sort of infection covering the metal the whole time?  Who knows! I’m hoping it can be removed as I keep catching it when I wash my hair, and getting rid of it would stop the sensitivity in the area. Better out than in as they say! I’ve got enough scars and war wounds as reminders of the past 11 years, I don’t need another one to add to my collection. It just goes to show that both the physical and mental scars of this part of my life will always be with me in some form. 

It’s sounds strange but it’s good to know it’s not just in my head. I always suspected something wasn’t right, I know my body and often joke with friends that I’m always right about these kind of things. I knew before I had my most recent bowel operation that there was no way I could feel so bad without something being very wrong.

I am glad I finally know the cause of my pain, and don’t have to keep dismissing it as ‘just one of those things’. Hopefully the Neurology team will have some answers for me when I see them. Nothing is ever simple when I am involved.

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