Maintaining Mental Health

I’ve learnt a lot about the importance of exercise and it’s health benefits over the last few years. This has been most important in terms of my mental health.

I’ve dabbled at being a gym goer from time to time over the years, but it was only really about two and a half years ago, after my first bowel operation that I began going to yoga and pilates classes. Right now I am not really able to exercise in the same way I did 18 months ago, I feel much more fatigued on immunotherapy drug Pembrolizumab than I did when I was taking oral drug Vemurafenib. This is largely due to the frequency of the three week treatment cycles. I often feel too tired and lack the energy to exert myself, however I know that maintaining a good but gentle exercise routine will have huge benefits on my mental state and health as I move forward. In one of my previous posts, What Having Cancer Has Taught Me I wrote about the need to be kind to my body and not expect so much in the weeks post infusion.

Allowing myself to do some gentle exercise such as yoga, or go for a pre-work 5k jog along the Regent’s Canal gives me a short break from thinking about illness, and shows me that my body is capable of fighting back. Doing this is a great form of escapism, I’m trying so hard to concentrate of my breathing I don’t have time to think about anything else! I don’t ever finish an gym session or short jog and wish I hadn’t done it, it is common knowledge that exercise releases endorphins, so it makes me feel good that I am challenging myself.

I’ve been involved with young adult cancer charity Trekstock since Autumn last year. It is through this charity that I took part in RENEW,  a free 12 week exercise programme for young adults affected by cancer. Taking part in this gave me the opportunity to work with a top-level personal trainer and develop a tailor made exercise plan I could easily follow. Over the course of the 12 weeks I received complimentary gym membership to YMCA Club on Tottenham Court Road, and had frequent sessions with a wonderful trainer called Victoria. I decided to start the programme as I had been going to the gym regularly until my most recent bowel operation in May 2016. I had even taken part in a half marathon, but once I’d had the operation felt it I no longer had the motivation to exercise. After all, I’d be exercising for almost two years and I’d still become really unwell again, I felt deflated and wondered why I bothered in the first place. What was the point? It’s wasn’t going to cure me. 

Taking part in this programme has taught me how to work with my body, not against it. I know I can’t push it too hard, but I don’t always have to be breaking out in a sweat to make a difference. Mentally it has really helped me to keep a positive outlook. RENEW gave me the confidence to start exercising again, and I’ve since ran a 10k for Cancer Research UK. Being part of the programme was instrumental in my decision to take part in the run and have a new goal to aim for. I am pleased to say I am now back into a semi-regular gym and yoga class routine, often attending a great yoga studio East of Eden in East London. The key to this is that I don’t beat myself up if I don’t have time to go for a few days, its simply not worth it. My body needs rest as sleep as much as it does exercise. The 6am wake up calls just aren’t worth It when I crave sleep. 

Even though the routine is often slightly sporadic, keeping up exercise is very important to me, it allows me to have some control over how I feel, and being part of the Trekstock programme has definitely made me feel motivated. For me, It’s not about aesthetic goals at all, I read a quote on Instagram recently that said ‘Don’t miss out on 95% or your life just to weigh 5% less’, I couldn’t agree more. The important part is feeling good within myself,

Cancer has knocked my confidence a thousand times over, especially loosing my hair and my skin becoming overly sensitive. There was a time when this first started happening that I was constantly plagued by thoughts that people around me were looking at me, and they could tell I was unwell. It’s amazing how much a little exercise can help mental wellbeing and motivate me. 

 Having cancer is mentally draining to say the least, and the frequency of doctors appointments and hospital visits often add to my anxiety. However, I look at life with a ‘glass half full’ attitude, and the programme has really helped me continue this. I know a lot of people who aren’t so positive, which I do find frustrating at times. I could do nothing and laze around all day, and that’s fine occasionally, but it won’t be any good in the long term. I need to focus on the future and expect that I will be on this earth for a long time to come. If not then where does that leave me? I’ll only be negative and undoubtedly feel much worse. I’d encourage everyone to take on the ‘glass half ful attitude’, focus on the good in life rather than dwelling on what is missing.

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