I have now been sharing my story via my blog for exactly one year! How time flies! I didn’t think I’d have that much to say about my life.
It has also been exactly 12 years since I was initially diagnosed with malignant melanoma, the most deadly form of skin cancer via a mole on my neck. I have now been living as a stage 4 patient for almost 7 years, which seems like a lifetime. Having cancer is a life sentence, it is a huge part of my life that feels like it will never get any easier. I am pretty sure the odds would suggest I should have died years ago, but they have been in my favour so far, even though it hasn’t seemed like it at times.
If feels like every month mark some sort of cancer anniversary, from a diagnosis, a major operation or some sort of key hospital visit. There are so many it’s hard to keep track, and in the process I’ve forgotten about the good, and most importantly non illness related milestones in the process. Graduating from a university, getting a new job and moving to London are all on the other list of things I should remember and am proud of, but I’m more likely to forget as time goes on.
Initally, many people I know suggested that I should start a blog as it might be therapeutic, and help me to be less angry and upset about my circumstances. I am definatley still very angry and upset, however I do think it has helped me. I think it’s been good for others to have a better understanding of what it’s like to live with a terminal condition, and I don’t feel like I’m repeating myself as much, which is a great thing for my sanity. It’s hard enough trying to process things myself without having to go over it multiple times when debriefing with others.
My recent trip to the Edinburgh fringe was brilliant, I saw some great one man / woman plays and felt inspired to write something about my life. I’m not sure if I actually would or not, but the blog would make for great material. There have been so many ups and downs and ‘you couldn’t make that up’ scenarios over the past 12 years it might make for a good one woman comedy. It seems unreal that all these things have happened to me, so maybe there is some leverage in my story. I do feel the blog is perhaps enough for now, its a great outlet but it’s nice to have hobbies / interests that don’t revolved around me being unwell. I’d like to think I’m an interesting person without the cancer fanfare, but watch this space for any updates on a new hobby as an aspiring playwright.