The Beauty Of Friendship

I’ve always known how important my friends are, but the last few weeks have highlighted just how lucky I am to have a solid cohort of friends behind me.

I am lucky to have spent last weekend with some of my oldest friends, and no matter how much times passes our friendships remain intact. We may not see each other often, but we are still there for each other in times of need (thank goodness for mobile phones and what’s app).

The vast majority of my friends are well and truly settle down and some have children too. I am very aware I’m a fair few stages behind when it comes to these matters and I always count my cancer diagnosis as part of the reason for this. It’s shaped who I am today, much like my friends own experiences, but ultimately we still have a close bond.

The great thing about our friendship is that we love and respect each other, even if we don’t always have the same opinions. We don’t all have the same interests either; I love theatre, eating out, and travelling, but I am not a fan of Love Island, and it doesn’t matter. As teenagers we had similar interests, such as being old enough to go out in town and go drinking for the first time, it was fun at the time but as adults we embrace our differences. I prefer to stay in and watch Netflix than go out to a bar, and that’s ok too. We’ve learnt to embrace our differences, and it’s probably one of the reasons we have stayed friends, each to their own after all! We are all individuals however together we work. I am lucky to have many friends from my school days, some that have stayed in the midlands and other who live close by in London. I was also lucky to find some wonderful friends and University too, as well as in the various jobs I’ve done since graduating.

In the last month I have caught up with two friends who have visited the UK from Australia, one from Japan and two from America. These are not people who are in my life of a daily basis, and I met them and different times during my life, but despite the distance they are frequently in my thoughts. We communicate as often as we can, sending long updates about life via what’s app it that occasional Skype call.

I often wonder where in the world I would be be without these people? Nothing compares friends getting together for a good catch up full of laughter, and last weekend was no exception.

True friends are those you can be 100% honest with, and they still like you anyway despite what they know. These friends are people you can sit in silence with for hours and it not be awkward. These are the ones who will be with you during the best and worst times and lift you up when you are in a bad place. I’ve had my fair share of rough rides and I am eternally grateful to those people.

Some friends are relatively new ones, but they are just as important to me.  During an average week I spend more of my time and work and socialising with friends than seeing family which makes friendship (and of course family) so key to my overall happiness. I feel fortunate that I have those I can confide in, act like counsellors, and overall support systems. I am always trying my best to be a good friend in return.

Whilst I await my next PET CT scan results I am forever grateful to my wonderful friends for keeping me sane.

What A Difference A Day Makes

I had a very busy weekend, with a much anticipated theatre trip to see both parts of Harry Potter and The Cursed Child followed by a day trip to West Sussex on Sunday to walk from Amberley to Arundel with some friends.

I’ve been pretty busy over the past few weeks, including during the weekends, and felt like it all came to a head yesterday after I had my PET CT scan in Leicester. My body felt exhausted; I guess It was a mixture of aching from the walk, lack of sleep, lack of food as I was only allowed water prior to the scan, and a recently shoulder injury. Luckily, desipte not being able to be cannulated via my portacath the scan went ahead as planned.

I got worked up and anxious when I was told a nurse wasn’t available to cannulate me via my portacath. Previously I had been sent away from a PET CT scan after two unsuccessful attempts to put a cannula in my arm and had to come back another day for the scan to take place. At the time it was very distressing as I travelled to Leicester on my own for the scan, thinking I knew what I was letting myself in for. I’ve learnt that with cancer I never know what I am letting myself in for!

Over the past couple of years my portacath has been my saviour and I’ve not been to a scan on my own since. Fortunately, one of the radiographers managed to put a cannula in my arm on the first attempt so the radioactive tracer could be injected into my bloodstream. Considering how many times my veins have failed me I was pretty impressed. Now I have to arrange another visit to the chemotherapy suite for my portacath to be flushed (never a dull day!)

After the initial hiccup my scan went smoothly, I did my usual hour long wait once I’d had the tracer injected and then spent 45 minutes being scanned form head to toe. I am due to see my consultant for the results in the next month. Each scan comes with its own level of stress and anxiety, especially since my hospitalisation and anaphylactic shock when I had a CT scan a few years ago. As the months pass and I learn to live on my new ‘watch and wait’ routine I can’t help but feel like my world could fall apart again at any moment.

I felt really unwell after my scan on Monday and had to go back to bed when I returned to my mums house. I slept solidly for almost three hours, and it just goes to show what a difference a day makes.

Twenty-four hours earlier I was waking through fields with my friends, feeling energised without much worry, and within such a short space of time I felt like an invalid. When I tried to get out of my dads car when I got back I felt like I’d suddenly aged 40 years – walking seemed so difficult and I felt sick and exhausted. All I’d done is lay there in the scanner but it took so much out of me! It felt as though I’d just come home from treatment and my body was drained of energy.

I don’t often share the moments when I physically struggle online, because I want to focus on the positives, but also because ‘dear diary, I was exhausted so spent the day in bed’ doesn’t have the same ring to it. It hit me hard, but I need to keep my head up and keep going.

That ever changing 24 hour period was a harsh reminder of how fragile life with cancer can be. I am slowly beginning to feel better, after some research, Dr Google suggests I might have a trapped nerve which is causing shoulder and neck pain, so have booked in for some more acupuncture in the hope that the symptoms will be alleviated. I know I should really google me symptoms either!

A cynical voice in the back of my mind is linking the pain to disease progression, but I don’t want that negative energy to impact me. I haven’t had any other worrying symptoms over the last few months. Another part of me thinks my oncology team would ensure I get the results much quicker if there were any red flags from their end.

The next few weeks are going to be testing, and I really hope Scanxiety doesn’t kick in. It’ll be easier once I know where I stand so I can breath again.

The New CRUK Obesity Campaign

Over the past couple of weeks a few people have asked me my thoughts on the latest ad campaign by Cancer Research UK, highlight obesity as a leading cause of cancer.

A couple of weeks ago Cancer Research UK released new figures showing that excess weight is now fuelling over 4,000 more cases of bowel, kidney, ovarian and liver cancer than those caused by smoking. Its a shocking statistic and I think the national campaign is pretty hard-hitting.

Part of the new campaign is a billboard poster advert showing cigarette packets in which brand names had been replaced by the word obesity. At first glance this looks like an advert for Malboro Lights or Silk Cut but look again and you will see something very different. A direct and harsh message designed to grab the viewers attention.

Cancer Research UK say that by implementing this campaign, they are calling for a change in policy, asking the government to lead the way in providing an environment which makes it easier to maintain a healthy balanced weight. The ambition is for the government to halve childhood obesity rates by 2030, and also to introduce a 9pm watershed for junk food ads on TV and online. I agree with this wholeheartedly, however it has left a bad taste in peoples mouths, with some suggestions the ads are ‘fat-shaming’.

I think the campaign is clear and clever, but I hope it doesn’t lead to people hiding away, feeling ashamed of their weight, and not getting help when it may be needed. There needs to be some guidance as to where people can get help if they need it. We are in a era of body positivity so people shouldn’t be made to feel singled out because of how they look. Male or female, obese or underweight, tall or short, we are all at risk. Over the years I’ve toyed with negative thoughts that somehow its my own fault I have cancer, although I’ve been assured multiple times there is nothing I could’ve done to prevent it, it isn’t nice to play the blame game. No body who gets cancer should ever feel it is their own fault.

Cancer is a complex disease and its not often linked to one particular element, and not only those who smoke or are obese get cancer. I sit here writing this as someone who seemed completely healthy when I was a initially diagnosed as a teenager; I hardly ever drank alcohol (in later years I was always the one who drove on nights our), I had a healthy lifestyle of a busy young adult and I certainly wasn’t over weight. I also have never been a sun worshipper, but I still got melanoma. I know people who have lung cancer who have never smoked in their lives, which just goes to show how there is still so much to learn about cancer. There are so many different forms of cancer that to highlight obesity as a cause for all is completely wrong.

Having said this, I like a message which grabs peoples attention, which makes them sit up and think; and I think the obesity campaign does this well. I’d love for a big campaign like this to support Melanoma UK in the ban on sunbeds, or to highlight just how damaging getting sunburnt can be for our health. It would be great to see the UK follow the lead of Australia and ban the use of commercial sunbeds. Although exposure to UV radiation from the sun or sunbeds are the main risk factors for developing melanoma, they are not the only ones. There are many things that may lead to the development of melanoma, as there are with other cancers.