Blue Monday

According to reports, a combination of bad weather, post-Christmas financial struggles and failed new year’s resolutions make today the most depressing day of the year, aka Blue Monday. This is the day when we as a nation are supposedly the most miserable; the nights and long and the days are dark, and its still a week until pay day! Understandably, all these factors contribute to feeling a bit low at this time of year, however I read that the term was originally made up by a travel company as a gimmick to sell summer holidays a few years ago. Interesting!

As my treatment cycle takes place on a Monday, I’ve had my fair share of my own Blue Mondays over the past few years. My low feelings are not dictated by a formula, or specific date in the calendar so I’m not sure Blue Monday is as legit and some make it out to be, however it can only be a good thing if it encourages people to talk about feelings and therefore acts a chance to break down stigma and in turn raise awareness of mental health issues. I’ve made no secret of my struggles over the past few years, but more specifically over the last 18 months.

I’ve not written a blog post since the start of January, mainly because I haven’t felt like I’ve got much to say, but I’m also consciously trying to cut down on my technology and social media use, particularly during the working week. While social media is an incredible tool, sometimes aimlessly scrolling through apps doesn’t help my my mental state, and I am sure I am not alone in that. It’s certainly not one to help on a Blue Monday! As I wrote my previous post Goals For 2019, I am trying to shift the focus to doing more of the things I enjoy, such a cooking and socialising.

Yesterday I made two dishes for the week; a leek, potato and pea soup from a recipe by Jamie Oliver, and Deliciously Ella’s warming winter curry recipe. My week feels more manageable if I’ve done some prep which means I don’t have to come home and think about what to cook for dinner. I find the working week tiring enough! I’ve enjoyed doing a bit more baking recently and I also made some very questionable looking (but very tasty) cinnamon rolls. Baking was about the only activity I took part in when I was living back at home after I had my first operations to remove an brain tumour and lung tumour around eight years ago. It was something creative I could do without the need leave the house. Encouraged by my family, baking a cake gave me a goal to aim for and I found solace in this solo activity. The first recipe book I was a given was the Hummingbird Bakery Cookbook and I’ve gather a collection of books over the years, from Mary Berry, 15 Minute Meals to Part-Time Vegetarian to name a few. For Christmas I was given two new books, New York Cult Recipes and The Little Swedish Kitchen.

As well as being organised for the week ahead I’m going to go for a walk this morning to go to a local cafe on my way to the gym before going home to work. Nothing says Happy Monday more that a nice little treat too start the week. I know there will be plenty more Blue Mondays and down days to come, so making the most of the good days when I feel well in myself is really important.

Thoughts On Food And Cancer

Food and cancer has been a topic I’ve wanted to write about for a while, there are so many different opinions floating around about diet and cancer it can be difficult to distinguish key facts.

The key advice I have received about diet and exercise whilst having treatment is to do what works for me individually. Just because some things work for one group of people doesn’t automatically mean they will work for the majority of the population. Each week there are multiple headlines suggesting what we put in our bodies can either help cause or prevent cancer and It’s confusing to say the least.

Since I had my first bowel tumour removed in 2014 I have been conscious to eat more fruit and vegetables and also began going to the gym. There is no set routine so to speak, and some weeks I’m far better than others. I figure walking is as good as anything most of the time, when I feel able. If you’d seen any of my instagram posts you’ll see I also go to the occasional yoga or pilates class. I enjoy it, but it can often be pretty expensive.

I went through a prolonged phase of having home made juices, but I think that phase has passed, at the moment my sleep is far more important than getting up early to squeeze fresh oranges. I don’t want to feel guilty if I eat cake or sweet snacks, it is ludicrous and life is too short! I’m more active now than I have been in previous years, which is great. However, in the winter time I really have to push myself to get up and go. I know its good for my overall wellbeing, but so are rest and sleep. If only there were more hours in the day for extra sleep sessions.

One thing I have discovered is a love of cooking. I used to be all about the home baked cakes, but I’ve extended my repertoire into the dinner field over the past few years. I now often enjoy spending time in the kitchen, or thinking about what meals to make for the week ahead. As it’s winter, I am really enjoying making soups and the one pan curries and stews (I am not a fan of washing up, so one pan meals are great!). Books from instagrammers like Deliciously Ella have allowed me to enjoy cooking simple meals from scratch and I no longer feel like it’s a chore. I got Nicola Graimes book The Part-Time Vegetarian for Christmas last year and it’s proved a real hit.

Ultimately I will do anything if it helps me, but I don’t want to be made to feel like any of this is my fault, or that I somehow got cancer because of lifestyle choices. I’d love to think that doing these things is the ultimate cancer fixer, and my melanoma will be cured if introduce some sort of strict regime, however sadly It won’t. I find it upsetting for people to suggest that I might have done something which would have caused this horrific disease, perhaps I’m feeling a little over sensitive but I’m sure others would say the same. I would urge people to think about their choice of words when discussing this topic. I find social media frustrating because people seem to assume that one particular lifestyle or way of eating should be the same for everyone. We are all different, it is what makes us unique.

Over the past year I have had many conversation with people about the latest food revolutions, but watching a couple of documentary’s about fad diets doesn’t make anyone an expert. Remember when the atkins diet was huge? Some of the most healthy people I know have experienced cancer, it doesn’t discriminate. Everyone from triathlon winners and marathon runners can get cancer, It can happen to anyone at any time, regardless of lifestyle choices.

Eating well is by no means a replacement to chemotherapy and Immunotherapy treatments. I believe in doing these things alongside my treatment regime helps me feel well, support my body and in turn give me more energy to fight this illness, but isn’t a cure. I touched on this in one of my older blog posts, What Having Cancer Has Taught Me.

I know that the reason I am alive today is because I have been on the receiving end of various new cancer treatments, and I’ve had tumours in places where they could be surgically removed. I have no real way of knowing if eating more vegetables has made any difference to how I’ve responded to Pembrolizumab so far. Whilst taking oral targeted therapy drug Vemurafenib I was also training for a half marathon and I really raised the game on my food intake and exercise regime (That half marathon wasn’t going to run itself!) but I still had recurrence of disease and a second bowel tumour removal operation in May 2016. It might have been that I would have responded in exactly the same way, whether or not I’d made conscious changes around what I ate or drank, or what exercise I did. Who knows!

I eat a balanced diet most of the time and I also like a few treats. With a stage 4 diagnosis, it’s really not going to make the situation any better by worrying if I’ve somehow contributed to being unwell.

If it turns out I was wrong, do feel free to say I ate too many cakes in my eulogy.