Of Mountains And Minds

I was recently fortunate enough to to be invite by the lovely Caroline McKay to be a guest on her podcast Of Mountains and Minds.

Caroline began the podcast to help shift our culture to talking more about struggles and stigmas. She has interviewed a number of people who have been through/are going through major challenges in life. Conversations on the podcast have included depression, addiction and grief as well endurance challenges like Everest. You can listen to Caroline’s podcast on Soundcloud or ITunes.

The great thing about this podcast is that It’s not intended to send a message that after navigating major challenges everything is healed and happy-ever-after, which I highlighted In my last post. The idea is to highlight the difficult, messy and inconvenient realities of trying to move forward after something so life changing.

Caroline asked me to to talk to me about the everyday realities of my cancer diagnosis and carrying on with life both during and after treatment, as well as my experience with depression, all of which has been well documented on my blog. I’ve never been a guest on a podcast before, so I can now ticket that off my list alongside tv appearances and magazine interviews.

I will post again when the podcast goes live in a few weeks.

My Fifteen Minutes Of Fame

Since A Time To Live aired on BBC Two last month I have been overwhelmed by the response from family and friends as well as members of the general public. I’m really glad I took part in the documentary and feel all the stories were really well thought out; it was joyful and touching at the same time, and remained true to life throughout. I hope it may help others who might be in a similar situation to me.

A short clip of my story appeared on the BBC News Facebook Page shortly after A Time To Live aired, and within 24 hours it had been viewed a staggering 1 million times. Yes, 1 million! Currently the viewing figure stands at 1.2 million. It’s crazy to think my story has been seen that many times and shared by total strangers all over the world. The feedback on the whole has been overwhelmingly positive. As I mentioned in one of my last blog posts, Not An Average Morning the decision to take part wasn’t always easy, and isn’t something I would have considered this time last year. Personally I believe that in some ways part of a healing journey and a great step forward for me, helping to distance myself from a lot of negativity surrounding my illness.

I originally decide to start writing about my experiences with Stage IV melanoma for the following reasons.

1) Many people that I know said I should, because it may be therapeutic, and help me to be less angry and upset about the situation I am in.

2) There didn’t seem to be many other people out there doing the same thing.

3) I had never encountered a single person of around the same age who has the same type cancer as me, or even any form of cancer.

4) It would a great opportunity to raise awareness of melanoma.

In the six months since I began writing and filmed my part in the BBC documentary I am proud to say that I have achieved all or part of the above objectives. I’ve had various messages from people over the past few weeks, from old school friends to complete strangers. I’ve had emails, handwritten letters, Facebook messages and telephone calls. I even had a delivery of flowers to my work from a local lady who wanted to wish me a happy birthday. She said my story touched her and wanted to tell me I was inspiring. I haven’t done anything specific, I’ve just been honest about my feelings to a big audience. The kindness of strangers is incredible, and its great to feel my story has resonated with so many others. Last week I was leaving work a lunchtime and a woman who past me in the street stopped me and said she’d recognised me from the film, and proceeded to tell me how great I was. I’ve never received so many compliments, it has been a glimpse of what it must feel like to be famous.

Prior to the film airing I had been feeling very nervous, however I’ve now had my fifteen minutes of fame, and it wasn’t nearly as scary as I thought it would be. Actually, it has been pretty cool. I’m no one special, and there are plenty of other people having an equally rubbish time, but with all the madness happening in the world right now it is nice to see something having a positive impact. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone for the lovely messages of kindness and support, apologies if I haven’t got back to anyone directly, it has been a hectic few weeks. I want to take this opportunity to send love to all those reading this, weather you have been personally affected by cancer or not I really appreciate it. I  honestly cannot put it into words exactly what it means to feel such love and support.

Back in the real world I have a PET CT scan coming up in a couple of weeks so I am hoping for stable results. There will never be a time when I don’t worry and loose sleep about this, I am only human after all. This is the bit that gets no easier not matter how much times passed. You’d think that after nearly seven years as a Stage 4 patient I would be used to it. I am trying to not to loose my mind whilst I wait for the next few weeks to run their course. I have another European adventure panned and plenty of work activity to keep my mind occupied, I also went on a long walk this morning to get some fresh air and am feeling better already.

Not An Average Morning 

This week has undoubtedly been one of the strangest weeks of my life. I began with treatment in hospital, part of my normal routine. Tuesday was followed by a live interview on This Morning on ITV with none other than Holly and Phil, and a double show day at the theatre. The BBC docoumentaty I participated in, A Time To Live aired on Wednesday evening on BBC2. I flew to Prague on Wednesday morning to visit friends prior to the film going out, so all in all it’s been a bit of a whirlwind. 

After filming my interviews for A Time To Live last October I put all thoughts about it on the back burner, and they only resurfaced a couple of weeks ago when the air date was confirmed. In a way I’m glad that I was out of the country, as I might have found if difficult watching with others. My section features cameo appearances from both my work colleagues and school friends, but I’m glad I watched it on my own, seeing the whole thing come together felt like a really big accomplishment.

I was lucky enough to be asked by the BBC press office if I’d be interesting in taking part in an interview on the This Morning sofa with Holly and Phil with Annabel, another participant from the documentary. Certainly not an average Tuesday morning activity! 

It’s true, the prestenters are lovely in real life and made me feel at ease despite my nerves. I can’t believe I actually went on live television, I was panicking I would get tounge tied and say something wrong. One of my friends joked that I should make sure I let the presenters get a word in! I can talk a lot but I don’t think television interviews come naturally, this is why I am not a performer after all. It could be that,  or maybe it’s the lack of talent. 

Having been to TV studios before for work it’s something I’m familiar with but I’m always impressed with the organisation of everyone to keep things running so seamlessly. Usually I am the person arranging interviews for others rather than being interviewed myself, so I’ve experienced the other side of the PR industry. It was a nice treat to get my makeup done before my big moment, I wouldn’t mind that more often. 

Sue Bourne from Wellpark Productions and her whole team have created a beautiful film about living on borrowed time and I am really proud to have been a part of it. The reception has been great, people have sent some really lovely tweets and messages which is surreal but also amazing to know that it’s had an impact on others. It seems a lot of people have found comfort and positivity in watching it. I know if I wasn’t part of it, the film would be the type of documentary I’d watch. 

If you missed it, A Time To Live is now available to watch on BBC iplayer in the U.K.