Standing Up To Cancer

Friday evening saw the annual Stand Up to Cancer telethon air on Channel 4. The night is a televised fundraising campaign between Cancer Research UK and Channel 4, that aims to bring people together to speed up progress in life-saving cancer research. Stand Up To Cancer donations help to fund research, which takes developments in the labs and accelerates them into brand new tests and treatments for cancer patients.

The charity telethon concluded late Friday night with the public in the UK having raised an incredible £24 million for cancer research and support, this is a huge £8.6 million increase on the £16 million raised two years ago. What incredible figures! It’s certainly shows the power of television and social media in raising awareness. Some of the patient stories were very emotional and hard hitting, it’s often to strange to think I am one of them, with my place in the stage 4 cancer club fully cemented.

The evening also saw TV appearances from You, Me and the Big C podcast hosts Debs (aka Bowelbabe) and Lauren (aka Girl vs Cancer). It’s great that they are continuing to break down barriers around cancer and the way it’s spoken about. I’d highly recommend the podcast they created with Rachel (aka Big C. Little Me.) for anyone who is unfortunate enough to be going through something similar.

I am debating taking on another hiking challenge next year, and watching parts of the Stand Up to Cancer programme has made me more determined to continue to raise funds and awareness despite my current injury. I have tendinitis in my right heel (most likely triggered from previous challenges including my most recent half marathon). The next trek isn’t until April 2019 so hopefully I’ve got plenty of time to get treatment on my ankle and get fit in preparation to take on the Jurassic Coast trek with Trekstock. Now I know what to expect from the last challenge I’ll need to take on some serious training this time around, perhaps some personal training and HIIT classes as well as waking. Anyone want to join me?

Although I participated in regular walks last time I don’t think anything could have prepared me for the reality of how mental and physically tough the whole weekend climbing the Lake District 5 Peaks was. I was a complete wreck! Still, time is a healer and I am ready for something new. I am determined to keep on standing up to cancer and carrying on as best I can.

Becoming An Adventurer

I am about half way through my holiday right now, so far I’ve visited Phuket and Chiang Mai in Thailand. I’ve created some wonderful memories, taking me well and truly out of my comfort zone, perhaps I am more of an adventurer than I thought!

The main reason for booking the holiday was to be a bridesmaid for my school friend in Phuket. In total there was a group of about 50 people who had travelled from England to watch the beautiful couple say ‘ I do’. It was so much fun spending time with friends and their families, as it wouldn’t happen ordinarily. Cancer has been very far from my mind, especially sipping coconut water from a real coconut at a beach bar overlooking the ocean! The venue and wedding itself were beautiful, it was an idillic setting, despite the delayed start due to a storm. I can’t wait to see all the photos.

Whilst in Phuket my friend and I took a day trip to Phi Phi, it was stunning however the weather was awful, making the boat journey very scary, however we made it there and back in one piece and lived to tell the tale. Whilst there we took a long boat out from the shore went snorkelling. Not one of my usual weekend activities and very much in my red zone of being scary and unsafe (not the fish, but the boat itself).

I’ve also eaten numerous times on my own, apart from day time cafe jaunts to write blog posts I would never have dreamt of going out to a restaurant for dinner alone whilst in London. ‘Table for one’ just doesn’t seem like the done thing, but when on holiday anything goes!

After my Phuket adventures I flew North and explored Chiang Mai for four days, I’ve found it to be a relaxed and friendly city, and I’ve been able to continue my down time. A few months ago I booked a trip to an Elephant Jungle Sanctuary which feels like a must when in Chiang Mai. As many people know I am not a really an animal person, so getting up close was an interesting experience. You can see form my Instagram photos that I’m pretending I’m not petrified!

Despite having a huge cold (mainly thanks to air conditioning) I’ve enjoyed the time alone; being able to wonder around and not worry about anyone else is a bonus. I’ve slowly been loosing my voice, I’m sure it’s down to a mixture of the cold and not speaking to people very often, I’m just glad it’s nothing more serious.

On paper this trip was one of the most scary things I’ve ever done, I thought spending so much time alone would be boring and was worried thoughts of cancer, dying abroad and my upcoming scan towards the end of the month would take over, not having anyone there to distract me. Two destinations down, and two to go! Perhaps I am becoming more adventurous? So far it’s been a success, I’ve been too busy exploring to think about cancer. All the negativity surrounding my illness is very far from my mind, I just hope it lasts when I get back home.

Lake District Five Peaks Challenge

Last weekend I conquered the Lake District 5 Peaks for charity, including England’s highest mountain Scafell Pike in just one day. I did this in aid of Trekstock, a young adult cancer charity I’ve frequently mentioned in my blog.

I found out about Trekstock through social media, and over the last 18 months I’ve found them a great source of support. Through the charity I took part in their RENEW exercise programme and also became involved in the BBC documentary A Time To Live by Sue Bourne. I have also benefited from other events they’ve organised for those who have experienced cancer.

The challenge, organised through the company Charity Challenge was without a doubt one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life! It was the most difficult physical challenge I’ve set myself so far. I was on my feet walking for the best part of 12 and a half hours straight and I found the trek both physically and mentally tough. I felt so many emotions in one short space of time; I laughed and I cried! (A lot!), but I’m proud to say I did it! I was the last person in my challenge group of 44 people to finish on the day, and I’m sure I said I couldn’t do it about 1000 times. My hips and legs became so tired that I had to give up my backpack for the last four hours, and the Charity Challenge team kindly carried it for me. I kept joking that the leaders should apply for World’s Strongest Man as they carried my backpack (as well as their own), whilst navigating across the boulders and rough terrain of the landscape. The whole experience reminded me of the type of person I am; I’m a fairly nervous person, I get scared easily, and the weekend confirmed that I’m certainly not an outdoor enthusiast! It took me longer than average to learn to swim, ride a bike and drive a car, so I shouldn’t be surprised I found the trek tough going! I know I won’t be signing up to adventurer Bear Grylls next TV show in a hurry.

Despite my initial disappointment at finishing last, I have to remind myself it wasn’t a race, I also had chemotherapy last Monday, so I know I should be especially proud. Initially it felt bitter sweet; the challenge reminded me that I am not invincible, and that having stage 4 cancer means I will inevitably find it difficult to do things that a healthy person could do more easily. As first I felt really upset, as it was a reality check, but it hindsight I’m just glad to have finished.

I’m still very sore and in pain, and pretty sure I’m going to loose a toenail but it was worth it!  Without sounding like an awards acceptance speech; I am grateful to my two wonderful friends that completed the trek with me (they must be mad!), I’ve never been so happy to see two people before. Huge thanks to the Charity Challenge team who made sure I powered through, and of course to the lovely Trekstock team. I know the money raised will continue to make a huge difference to people like me. It was lovely to meet so many other people connected to the charity, who gave me encouragement, supported and cheered me on until the bitter end. I’ll certainly be visiting the Lake District again soon, it isn’t an area of the world I’d visited before, and the landscapes were stunning. It goes to show there is so much beauty in England so close to home, I still have The Travel Bug, but I’d love to explore the UK more.
 At the moment I’m not sure the Lake District 5 Peaks would be something I would do again in a huge rush, but knowing me I’ll probably end of signing up to something else in few weeks. Perhaps I should opt for a simple bake sale instead? Overall I feel a great sense of achievement. and I’ll be riding high on that wave for a while, even if I am still hobbling.

Its great feeling knowing the money raised can make a real difference, helping to improve the physical and psychological wellbeing of people in similar shoes to mine. In total I’ve raised over £1,100 for Trekstock so far, and if you’d still like to donate you can do so here.

I am also delighted to say that I had stable scan results at my oncology appointment last Monday, which is of course fantastic news. Now that I know, I hope I can relax more over the next few months and enjoy my summer adventures and birthday celebrations.

Life Through A Lens 

Recently I’ve been witness to how much of our lives are governed by social media, from Instagram, Facebook and Twitter to Snapchat and Instagram stories. More often we are living our lives through a lens and my guess is we are probabaly all guilty of oversharing at times, myself included. Sometimes I use apps like Instagram out of habit and I don’t even think about it, I’m not even going on there to look at anything specific.

I frequently enjoy sharing elements of my life online alongside my blog, and in doing so it’s helped me feel less like the odd one out, I’m not the only one living the lonely cancer life. Writing my blog and creating social media platforms has opened up a lot of new opportunities for me, from my television debut to writing guest blogs for Huffington Post UK and The Lewis Foundation,  as well as finding out about the work of other charities I wouldn’t have heard of before. I’ve also been in touch with other melanoma patients who I wouldn’t have connected with otherwise. I do however feel a temporary break is much needed.

The use social media seems like it’s at an all time high, gone are the days of hotmail email accounts, MySpace and MSN messenger,  being part of the millennial tribe means that everyone is quick to share photos and videos of their lives at a click of a button. I’m also guilty of this, I mean who wants the FOMO?! (aka the fear of missing out for those that are less social media savvy). When I was diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2010 I took myself off Facebook for almost a year, and  didn’t have any problems staying in touch with friends, so it might be nice to go back to basics for a few days. The more I think about it the more I am glad to have grown up on the cusp of the social media revolution. 

It would seem that doing multiple activities in a day is commonplace when I look over Instagram profiles. It could be that it is partly the profiles I chose to follow, but I don’t want to be made to feel guilty that I’ve eaten copious amounts of maltesers, or that haven’t made every meal I’ve eaten during the week from scratch because I’ve had treatment that week. Even on a regular week I wouldn’t be cooking every night. I feel like what I see on online is often unrealistic, unless being a blogger is your full time job it just doesn’t work like that. Social media can make me feel like I’m doing something wrong, and the pressure to be part of the crowd and be constantly active can feel too much. I don’t want to be made to feel like an outsider if I have had a few duvet days and not bothered going to the gym. This pressure comes in waves and I’m sure it’s something which like others I will continue to experience now and again, but I would like to create some sort of distance. My lifestyle is not picture perfect by any means, but I still have a really good life. Even if my life isn’t going to be a long one I know that I’m fortunate to be well at the moment, perhaps I should focus on that whilst on my way to my next day trip destination rather than mindlessly scrolling through Twitter and not paying any particular attention to what is on the screen.

Over the past week or so I’ve spent the best part a whole day in bed watching trash tv, and another full day receiving treatment at hospital in the chemotherapy suite, but who really wants to know I’m doing absolutely nothing? Social media tends to focus on the highlights, but not every day is the same. I chose not to show images of me in hospital for a number of reasons; it makes me feel uncomfortable and I don’t want a lasting image to remember it by, It won’t be something I forget easily. My immunotherapy is ongoing therefore I won’t be posting a picture of myself holding a sign declaring my final treatment has been completed, or one declaring how many years I have been in remission. I’m happy for those that do experience that, it must be an incredible feeling. I can’t help but feel sad when I look at these images, because it will never be me.

Having a break doesn’t mean that I am quitting anything permamently, just a temporary break to help refocus and allow me to take back some control of my life and think about other positives I have going on. I hope that a break will help me get things in order, such as my sleep pattern and overall productivity. I can certainly procrastinate if I want to, so I’m going to take a step back from posting online for a week and see how I feel afterwards. Wish me luck!